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IN STRUGA I HAD NOTICED SEVERAL VENDERS SELLING RUBBER RAFTS FOR TOURISTS TO USE IN THE LAKE. I THOUGHT, “RAFT--RIVER, RIVER--RAFT.” I TOLD NIKOLCE AND DANIEL THAT I WOULD BUY RAFTS AND WE’D GO DOWN THE RIVER DRIM. “NO, NO! WE CAN’T DO THAT!” THEY EXCLAIMED. “IT IS TOO DANGEROUS! NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT!” ALTHOUGH I HOPED IT WOULD BE DANGEROUS I ASSURED THEM IT WAS SAFE.
ON MONDAY AFTERNOON WE SCOUTED THE RIVER FROM STRUGA TO THE RESERVOIR 7 KM TO THE NORTH. THE RIVER WAS EXTREMELY TAME AND HAD NO RAPIDS. AFTER MUCH CONVINCING THEY AGREED TO GO. I BOUGHT THE LAST TWO RAFTS AT ONE VENDOR FOR $22 EACH. I WOULD BUY ANOTHER LATER.
MACEDONIAN TELEVISION (MTV) WAS PRODUCING THEIR POPULAR NIGHTLY VARIETY SHOW IN STRUGA FOR TWO WEEKS. IT WAS BEING FILMED LIVE AT THE HOTEL DRIM AND THEY WERE SIGNING UP LOCAL PERFORMERS. NIKOLCE WOULD GO THERE EVERY AFTERNOON AND WAIT TO TALK TO THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR TO TRY TO GET A SPOT FOR HIS BAND BUT FOR SOME REASON THEY ALWAYS HAD SOME EXCUSE NOT TO TALK TO HIM. ONE AFTERNOON HE WAITED FOUR HOURS AND FINALLY GOT TO TALK TO SOMEONE. UNFORTUNATELY THEY TURNED HIM DOWN AND THIS MADE HIM ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED. HIS BAND WAS OBVIOUSLY BETTER THAN MOST OF THE ACTS WE HAD SEEN ON THE SHOW--BORING ACCORDION PLAYERS, DROOPY MIDDLE-AGED FEMALE SINGERS, AND OLD MEN WITH BEER GUTS AND BAD COMB-OVERS WHO LIP-SYNCED SAPPY SERBIAN LOVE SONGS. NIKOLCE EXPLAINED THAT IN MACEDONIA ENTERTAINERS OFTEN PAY THE “RIGHT PEOPLE” TO BE ON TV.
NIKOLCE WAS NOT ONE TO GIVE UP. ON TUESDAY AFTERNOON DANIEL AND I WENT WITH HIM TO THE HOTEL HOPING TO TALK TO SOMEONE FURTHER UP THE FOOD CHAIN. AS WE WERE WAITING WE SAT AROUND A TABLE IN THE SHADE DRINKING COFFEE AND TALKED ABOUT THE RIVER TRIP. MARCO, AN ACQUAINTANCE, WAS SITTING WITH US. “WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO SUCH A STUPID THING?” HE ASKED. “SHUT YOUR MOUTH,” REPLIED DANIEL. “WE WILL DO IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO DO IT.” MARCO WAS A KNOWN JERK-ABOUT-TOWN AND WAS KNOWN TO CHEAT ON HIS GIRLFRIEND, A PRETTY TWENTY-YEAR-OLD SINGER NAMED ANNA. ANNA WAS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AND WAS SUSPECTED TO USE DRUGS (VERY MUCH FROWNED UPON IN MACEDONIA). SHE RECEIVED NO EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FROM ANYONE LET ALONE MARCO BUT TO HER CREDIT ANNA EARNED A SPOT ON THE SHOW.
WE CONTINUED TALKING ABOUT THE RIVER TRIP WHEN A MAN APPROACHED THE TABLE. TURNS OUT HE WAS THE PRODUCER OF THE SHOW AND HAD OVERHEARD OUR CONVERSATION. “THIS SOUNDS EXCITING! WE MUST MAKE A FILM OF THIS ADVENTURE!” HE EXCLAIMED.
PLANS WERE QUICKLY PUT INTO EFFECT. THE PRODUCER WANTED DANIEL AND I TO GO ON NATIONAL TELEVISION THAT EVENING TO DO AN INTERVIEW. WE WERE TO MAKE A COMEDIC ENTRANCE WITH THE HOST OF THE SHOW, KIRE PECIJAREVSKI (“MR. BIG”), THE MOST FAMOUS TELEVISION CELEBRITY IN ALL OF MACEDONIA! KIRE WAS A JACK-OF-ALL-TRADES IN THE TELEVISION BUSINESS. THERE IS REALLY NO AMERICAN EXAMPLE TO COMPARE HIM WITH. DANIEL HAD POINTED HIM OUT AS A FAMOUS ACTOR PORTRAYING THE VILLAGE IDIOT IN A MACEDONIAN FABLE THAT WE WERE WATCHING ON TV ONE NIGHT. THEN THERE WAS HOSTING VARIETY SHOWS, PRESENTING HUMAN INTEREST NEWS STORIES, AND EVEN SPORTS COMMENTATING. I SUPPOSED HIS VERSATILITY HELPED MACEDONIAN GOVERNMENT TELEVISION KEEP THEIR BUDGET TO A MINIMUM.
AT PRESENT WE WERE WITHOUT A RAFT BUT I WAS ABLE TO BUY ANOTHER JUST ACROSS THE STREET. AFTER WE PUMPED IT UP WE WERE GIVEN INSTRUCTIONS ON OUR ENTRANCE AND HOW MR. BIG WAS GOING TO CONDUCT THE INTERVIEW. WE WERE TO GO ON IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SCANTILY-CLAD DANCERS FINISHED THEIR NUMBER.
WHEN THE TIME CAME WE WERE INTRODUCED TO KIRE AND ENTERED THE STAGING AREA WITH CAMERAS ROLLING. THE THREE OF US BUMBLED AND STUMBLED THROUGH THE POOL ENTRANCE WHILE HOLDING THE RAFT (MACEDONIAN HUMOR). ONCE THROUGH WE FOLLOWED MR. BIG TO AN AREA NEXT TO THE POOL. “CIO (HELLO)”, HE SAID. “CIO,” DANIEL AND I REPLIED. KIRE EXPLAINED THE GREAT RIVER ADVENTURE TO THE TELEVISION AUDIENCE. THEN HE ASKED DANIEL A SERIES OF QUESTIONS. AS COOL AS CAN BE, DANIEL TOLD MR. BIG THAT I WAS FROM THE UNITED STATES AND IT WAS MY IDEA FOR THE ADVENTURE. AT THE TIME I DIDN’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT WAS BEING SAID SO I JUST STOOD THERE NODDING AND SMILING INTO THE CAMERA. THEN KIRE ASKED ME IN ENGLISH HOW I LIKED MACEDONIA, AND WHERE I HAD VISITED. WHEN HE ASKED IF I’D EVER BEEN RIVER RAFTING THOUGHTS RUSHED THROUGH MY HEAD--IF I SAID THE TRUTH (THAT I’D NEVER BEEN) IT WOULD DESTROY MY CREDIBILITY AND WOULD MAKE FOR BAD TELEVISION. SO RIGHT THEN AND THERE I BECAME A LYING MEDIA WHORE. “YES, I’VE BEEN MANY TIMES,” I EXCLAIMED WITH MUCH BRAVADO. “IT IS A POPULAR SPORT IN AMERICA--THE FASTER THE RIVER, THE BETTER!” MR. BIG SEEMED PLEASED WITH THIS ANSWER. DANIEL CONCLUDED THE INTERVIEW AND THEN WE WERE WHISKED OFF WITH THE RAFT. DANIEL LEFT HIS CELL NUMBER WITH THE PRODUCER WHO SAID WE’D BE GETTING A CALL.
MR. BIG (STANDING) AND DRAGO THE CAMERAMAN
AFTERWARD WE TOOK A TAXI BACK TO THE HOTEL MACEDONIA WHERE AN EXCITED NIKOLCE GREETED US. "THE WHOLE FAMILY WATCHED--IT WAS GREAT!" HE EXCLAIMED. "YOU WERE BOTH VERY GOOD ON TELEVISION. THIS IS VERY BIG DEAL!"
THAT EVENING DANIEL AND I RECEIVED A LOT OF COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE. "WE SAW YOU ON TV!" "YOU ARE FAMOUS!" WORD WAS OUT ALREADY AND MORE PEOPLE WANTED TO BE PART OF THE FLOTILLA THAT WEEKEND SO WE EXTENDED AN INVITATION TO EVERYONE THAT WANTED TO BUY A RAFT. "WHO WILL LEAD US?" SOMEONE ASKED. "I WILL," I SAID, "BECAUSE I AM THE BIGGEST LIAR!"
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